Menopause in business: The 7 rules for reshaping your business and the way you run your business around your perimenopause
Who’d have thought that there’d come a time that I would be writing an article about how to deal with the menopause in business?!
I’ve become a woman-of-a-certain, even though when I look in the mirror I get a shock each time because the face doesn’t seem to reflect the mind that’s still living as a 30 year old.
It feels like only yesterday, I was writing about juggling work around pre-schoolers and school gate pickups. But children have a habit of growing up and we have a habit of growing older.
I’m 46 at the time of writing this blog post; my children are 13 and 15 and I have been dealing with the symptoms of perimenopause for the past few years. I don’t talk much about publicly because what I share is usually focused around marketing systems, lead generation, business models and revenue streams. But I’ve realised that I need to write about my menopause in business now because I wished I had read this two years ago. And I hope it helps you if you are going through that change in life if you dealing with menopause in business, too.
Menopause in business and what it’s meant to me
Fluctuating energy flows, extreme fatigue that’s taken me to bed, flushes, body shape change … it’s made me re-think how I run my business because if I’m not mentally and physically in good shape, it directly impacts on the level of service I can deliver to my clients.
And if you run a service based business like mine – coaching, training, therapy, design, consultancy or any other professional service – you have to be on the ball to be able to deliver.
Or at the very least, make sense when you have a conversation with someone!
So this isn’t going to be an article about advice on the pros/cons of soya, supplements or whether HRT is right (there’s plenty of articles already and I’m no hormone expert, that’s for sure).
This article is focused about how to manage your menopause in business and shape and run your business around your menopause, without making yourself ill, beating yourself up with guilt or losing your mind. And because I don’t think enough women (or men!) are talking about the effects of menopause in business I wanted to share my experiences and how I am dealing with this.
If I hadn’t put these rules in place for myself, I really think I would have ended up being one of those women you find walking around the supermarket, still in her PJs, hair unbrushed and looking dazed and confused about what she went in there for in the first place!
It’s OK … Men can read this too!
By the way, if you are a man reading this, change in life can affect you, too.
You may not be building up to that last menstrual cycle (darn … I never thought I would write that phrase in a blog article LOL) so don’t click away. I’d love to know your thoughts on this as your hormones change as you get older, too. Some may call it mid-life crisis, but it’s no joke when your body changes and you feel you have absolutely no control over it.
These have been my rules for re-shaping my business around me becoming a woman-of-a-certain age.
Rule No 1
Work when you are productive, not when you think you have the time
When I first started up my business in 2004, I was full of energy. I had a young family, suffered sleepless nights and ran the home too. So, technically, I really shouldn’t have had the energy to work the hours I worked back then.
But when you are younger (in my mid 30’s back then), you can really cope with anything because your body is still performing the way it needs to.
I would get my kids to school, rush home and work until I picked them up again at 3pm. in the first couple of years, my youngest was home with me 2 days a week so I only had 3 school days a week to work. But I managed to cram in work whilst he was napping on his home days, during CBBC sessions and as soon as they were both bathed and in bed, I’d be back in the office either running a teleseminar, coaching clients or writing until 2 am.
For the past few years, my days have become longer (yeah!) but once both my kids are home, usually from 5pm onwards, and I’ve made supper, supervised homework, had a “heated debate” with a stroppy teen and done the laundry … I’m done for. Literally done for. The only energy I have is to drag myself to the sofa, put my feet up and try to stay awake until 9pm before taking myself to bed.
The thought of working evenings or taking myself out networking can’t even cross my mind.
So rather than beating myself up for not being able to capitalise on the evenings any more, I surrendered and made sure that my days were efficiently scheduled as possible.
Client calls are now only scheduled from 12noon onwards until school pick up time. Mornings are my time because from 8.30am to about 11am I am at my best. When my energy starts to wane, my clients pick me up because after all, it’s so much easier working on other people’s businesses than your own, yes?!
I don’t do London, except for special occasions. The travel knackers me. Plus the jet-setting lifestyle that once appealed to me 10 years ago is now firmly pushed to one side. I am happy being a home-bird and now that I’ve accepted that, my productivity is back on track. I’m not wasting energy with that keeping-up-the-jones feeling.
Once my chicklets have flown the nest, who knows. But for now, I want to be a mother first and foremost. And preferably one that’s not cross all the time because she’s knackered from travelling.
TAKE AWAY: Look at your diary for the next couple of weeks. How are you scheduling your week? What changes do you need to make to your routine to address your productivity levels?
Rule No 2
Create a business that works for you, not a business you feel trapped in
Your business model has to work for you because if it doesn’t, you’re just an employee. And without the employee perks of paid holiday and still getting a paycheck if you end up in bed ill one day.
If you have created a business that was once exciting, exhilarating and fun but is now exhausting and draining, then you have to change it.
I’ve spoken to dozen of women in recent years who have all experienced this. They’ve created a business that involves travelling overseas – once fun but now they are of a “certain age”, it’s taking it’s toll on them. They’ve created a business that involves lots of 1-2-1 time – once energising but now exhausting.
My first 8 years or so, I sold a lot of low priced programmes and digital products and most of my income came from working with clients 1-2-1. My workshops were affordable which meant I was filling a room of at least 20 people every 4 to 6 weeks. I created a membership site, which at £30 a month wasn’t cheap but it was a price level that didn’t need a lot of persuasion and when I have more than 100 members who stayed on average for 8 months, it was a fabulous revenue stream for a couple of day’s work once a month.
My business model back then worked for me because I had the energy levels to see it through. I thrived off the juggling of commitments and dashing from one thing to the next.
But in recent years, I realised my business model had to change.
Now I have completely turned things on their head and have a business model that works for me in my current time of life. I work with far less people but at a higher price point, which means my time is more profitable and I can give a lot more value. I work considerably less hours, I don’t rush around like a headless chicken and yet my productivity has gone up.
Please note: This change didn’t just happen overnight.
It’s been a gradual shift, both in my mindset and practical implementation of new systems and programmes. But the realisation that things needed to change was the catalyst for going out there and making it happen.
TAKE AWAY: Take a morning out – away from your screens, phones and any other distractions – and quietly review how your business model is working for you. Is what you’ve created (or creating) going to work for you and your energy levels? Are you being your very best for your clients in the way that you are working with them? What needs to change over the next year or so? And what’s your first baby step to changing things right now?
Rule No 3
Review your wardrobe
Seriously, your wardrobe is important. I know confidence needs to come from within ourselves for it to be sustainable, but the clothes that you wear, the haircuts, the handbags and shoes … the outer impression of ourselves does directly impact how you feel.
And when your success in business is almost directly in proportion to how confident you feel at the time, your wardrobe matters.
I’m very much a jeans and converse girl. Yes, I’ve been know to put on a dress for my speaking engagements but essentially I feel most me when I’ve got a good pair of jeans on.
Perimenopause has meant that my middle is now not really a middle. My top half has merged through to my bottom half so that my wardrobe of GAP jeans give me not so much a muffin top … more like a full cream tea and couple of Mary Berry cakes look.
Have you ever tried to wear stomach-flattening pants under jeans? Amazing for the first hour, but towards the end of the day you just feel like a cling-filmed wrapped chicken that’s been left out of the fridge for too long.
I began beating myself up about my weight, which only made me eat more chocolate biscuits (classic emotional eater, me!)
But realising that what I could wear 3 years ago, simply wasn’t going to work any more I sought out the advice of Gail Morgan, one of the UK’s top image consultant trainers. One look up and down and she told me, “You’re a classic triangle, turning goblet”.
Rather than running off for a good sulk for being called a goblet, I jumped for joy. I had a new rule for dressing to follow and after Gail introduced me to Marks & Spencer sculpt and lift range of skinny jeans (which are very well priced, too I will have you know), I rushed out and sorted out my wardrobe.
TAKE AWAY: Like your business, is it time to review your business wardrobe? It’s really easy to get stuck in a rut but as your body shape changes, it’s wonderful to realise that going up a dress size is not a failure.
Rule No 4
Exercise
OK, I know I said this is not an article about dealing with your perimenopause – this was supposed to be about your business. But seriously … exercise is critical at this time of your life.
And when you run your own business, you simply have NO excuse not to make the time to exercise at least 3 times a week.
This goes back to rule number two and making sure you have a business that works for you, rather than you working for it. If you have created a schedule that just doesn’t allow you to take just a few hours out a week to take up an exercise you enjoy, then your business needs to change.
I use to run and go to the gym. But with my weight gain, aching legs and joints and general knackered-ness, this wasn’t going to work. Recently I’ve taken up swimming. And yes, the proper goggles, swim cap kind of swimming. Hey, I didn’t say that style has to affect the way you exercise.
Going from drinking copious amount of chlorinated water (and god knows what other fluids!) and half-drowning with every breath, I swam my first 1 mile the other week. 66 lengths of the pool. Even my 15 year old daughter was impressed and I don’t normally get much more than a raised eyebrow from anything I say to her right now.
So exercise doesn’t have to be the classic gym session. It can salsa dancing, yoga, walking … anything as long as you are moving.
TAKE AWAY: If you aren’t exercising, what can you try out this week? Do you need to go back and read Rule Number Two again? Don’t put this off. You need to be moving (and keyboard exercise doesn’t count.)
Rule Number Five
Creativity never stops; you don’t need to act on every idea
Your body may start to slow down when you hit perimenopause but if you are a creative entrepreneur like me, ideas never stop coming. A few years ago I was getting extremely frustrated that I just didn’t have the inclination or the energy to implement as much I once did.
I would push myself to do more but all that ended up doing was making me more tired, frustrated and well, menopausal! I was cross at myself, but this often came out being cross with my family. And that’s no good.
After going on a journey with the very inspiring Nicola Bird who taught me much about simplicity last year, I’ve been shown that ideas are simply trains of thought that keep on coming, no matter where or what you are are doing.
Realising that I didn’t have to implement everything that came my way because I now trust that there are plenty of other ideas all queuing up behind each one, I can keep focused on the current project, without getting frustrated by my tiredness.
It’s why I see so many business owners flip flop from one new shiny toy to the next. There’s almost an addictive nature of acting on ideas but often never following them through because the next one comes along.
SQUIRREL!
Periscope is a classic example; an amazing piece of fun, creative and innovative tech but if you stay focused on the marketing strategy and business model that you’ve set out to create, you will see better results, quicker.
TAKE AWAY: When you get an idea, become consciously aware of what happens and how you act. Do you get frustrated? Are you bouncing from one thing to the next? Become aware of how your creativity impacts your energy levels and do something different. Sometimes just scribbling the idea onto a post-it note and throwing it into a shoebox can reassure you that you know where to find it again if and when you ever want to act on it. It’s the whirlwind noise in your head that often causes the anx, so get it out and move on.
Rule No 6
F&*% It Days are OK (and actually good for the soul!)
When you get to a “certain age”, you being to realise that you don’t need to take yourself, or anyone else, that seriously all of the time.
Perhaps this comes down to experience and having a decade of working for myself under my belt, too. But it’s incredibly freeing to realise that you can only do want you can do. And if you can laugh at your failures and shake off negative remarks and snidey comments, then running your business is really much easier to run.
Apologies for the language (and for sharing one of the all time annoying songs!) but any time you want to share a moment of F&*% It, then play this video below.
It’s very good for the soul … you just may want to plug in headphones if you are in a public place or have children in ear shot!
Rule No 7
Systemise, Delegate or Delete
To enable me to become more effective and efficient (AKA work less and earn more money), I process everything I do through the rule of systemise, delegate or delete.
I’ve come to realise that over the past few years, I am doing the same stuff over and over again. And when energy levels are so up and down, I just can’t afford to be wasting my time and energy over stuff I really need not be doing.
So becoming consciously aware of how I fill my days, I’m always reviewing and asking myself whether I could systemise, delegate or simply delete something that I find myself doing over and over, out of my day.
This is one rule I’m still working on.
I’ve got systemise working well; I’ve invested in and worked hard to figure out my marketing systems – both lead generation and conversion processes – and nothing delights me more than having appointments being booked into my diary automatically from people who really want to speak to me. (In fact, I now teach other business owners the exact system in Clicks To Clients, which I opened up the doors to this summer). It all makes a lovely change from having to rush around networking like crazy and using push-energy rather than pull-energy to bring in new business.
Delete ain’t too bad; it helps to have more F&*% Days!
But delegate is definitely a work in progress, I have to confess. I’m still a control freak at heart and let the tech side of marketing take up way too much of my time. Trouble is I love it so much, I don’t think I could bear to hand it over to someone else … but hey, I have my vices and I’m certainly not perfect. I’m only human, just like you.
So there you have it.
My 7 rules for perimenopausal women running their own businesses.
And having just read through this again before clicking the publish button, I’ve realised that these 7 rules were something I wished I had applied way before my perimenopause began. So whether you’ve hit menopause or you’ve found yourself to be a “certain age” or simply that you’ve hit a wall and you need to review and re-set your path because your business is just not set up to give you what you want or need right now, I hope what I’ve shared has helped.
I’d love to know what your thoughts are; what rules you may have and any other tips or suggestions you would like to share. Leave a comment below as I love to read them all.
What a courageous, honest and helpful post Karen. I’m exactly the same age as you, funnily enough. I was inspired by your final tip especially, and am working out a delegation system at the moment. Hard isn’t it, but so necessary!
Thanks Ginny. And yes, delegation is my achilles heel. I know I’ve got to do more of it but it’s darn tricky when you want to do it all yourself LOL
Brilliant advice. Adapting to change positively without feeling you are loosing something is hard. I wish I’d had your 7 rules when fatigue hit me mid career and I went self employed to get back some control. I worked harder not smarter for a while despite knowing that made no sense. I was more exhausted and felt guilty too that I was under performing. It’s so ironic that our expertise and creativity rev up through experience just as our bodies slow down for a while. The good news is that post- menopause, and when children are more independent, we can come into our stride. I’m sure that’s why so many women are happy to continue to run their businesses their way and are reluctant to retire.
That’s a great point Jeni about post-menopause. I do think it is so cruel that at our busiest in our careers and running a family home, that perimenopause can cause such havoc. But I suppose, mother nature hadn’t counted us having children in our 30’s and beyond. She probably hoped us to all be retired and living off our pensions in our 40’s and 50’s LOL
EVEN I could relate to all that Karen. Thanks for sharing your advice and insights. My wife is ten years older than you so I do have some idea of what you’ve been going through. Truth be told, I better understand what my wife’s been going through for the last 2 or 3 years.
Yeah!! Thank you Mark for chipping in here. I knew men would appreciate reading this too. And yes, I am sure our husbands and partners see it clearer than we do when we go through it. But probably don’t dare to mention it because of the chance that we may well bite their heads off or smash a plate or two! Ah the complications of middle age.
I love this Karen, really brave of you to write but also MEGA helpful for anyone going through the same struggles. This is not talked about enough. Women don’t want to appear ‘weak’ or less than 100% effective, especially in a male dominated career or when you’re trying to build a successful business.
And peri-menopausal symptoms creep up on you gradually. Hormones start declining and fluctuating from the age of 35, but its a very gradual process so you tend to get used to the tiredness, stubborn weight gain (especially round the middle), lowered stress resilience, mood swings, brain fog, memory loss, PMS, hot flushes, poor sleep, overwhelm – the list GOES ON! And also we women tend to just get on with things, it’s easier to put up with it than make a fuss. And the thing is that everyone else seems to feel the same, so it becomes ‘normal’.
But if you don’t seek help and/or adapt your lifestyle as you’ve done, it can really mess up your working life (employees as well as business owners), but it can also have a massive effect on your personal life and your relationships. And ultimately, hormone imbalance can increase your risk of longer term chronic disease if left untreated.
If anyone is interested in finding out more about the help available (and hormone testing), I’m more than happy to have a chat. http://happyhormonesforlife.com/welcome/
Thanks for stopping by and commenting Nicki. And I would highly recommend anyone who thinks they are suffering from perimenopause, to take up Nicki’s offer an initial chat. The more you understand what’s happening to you, the better equipped you are to supporting yourself. And most of us have enough to be getting on with, without beating ourselves up with guilt because we think we ought to be able to do more!
Hi Karen,
I loved reading your article and can totally relate to it. I agree that looking after ourselves physically and mentally is paramount at this time, to adapt to the changes our body is making naturally and accept the times are body is telling us to rest.
I feel guilty that I am not doing “enough” whatever that means when everyday is totally packed with activity of one sort or another. Good to keep that guilty feeling under wraps and reward what you are doing well.
I appreciate the article for recognising how we are changing and that it does impact on the choices we make for running our business. No more house changeovers for me. I cannot run at the required pace anymore and I don’t want to do it. There must be a better solution. I will find it.
Your input is very valuable, thank you
Karen thankyou for being so honest. I have had that feeling that getting up is the hardest thing of the day to do. Me who had three children an ageing friend to care for and a fulltime job! How did i do it and why cant I do it now? I used to look at retired people busily filling their day “dont know how I ever fitted in a job” LOL and would think Ill never get like that – until my body decided it wasnt playing the same ball game! Unfair!
I was reading a book the other day Spring Chicken by Bill Gifford about aging and he said we should start life the other way around and end up in a warm cosy mother. I couldnt agree more, aging is not a fair result for hard workers. Thankyou for making it seem more ‘normal’.
Thank you, lots to think about here. I had my kids in my late thirties and as soon as I’d come up for air when they started school I found I was in my early forties and had hit a completely different phase of my life. Thankfully the physical issues haven’t been too much of an problem yet, but I’m definitely in the sandwich generation, juggling kids and older relatives at the same time. I need to take better care of myself than when I was younger, yet the temptation is to sort out everyone else’s needs first. It’s hard to resist but these days I do and feel a lot better for it.
And I agree, exercise has had huge effect on my mood these days, so I’m working on building more of that into my week. It’s also reassuring to hear someone else saying ‘no’ to travel because I find it a stressful, tiring pain in the arse at this point in my life yet keep reading about how important it is to meet people face to face.
Thanks also for giving me a laugh when the song above started playing in the doctor’s waiting room which was full of old ladies. Good job I found my phone’s volume button quickly!
Excellent tips, Karen! I liked your comment about “Mary Berry cakes look”.
It’s all true. I thought I was SuperWoman until fatigue hit then I had to change the way I worked. Cycle wobbling and fizzling out, flushes, mood swings, palpitations – no problem! Well, apart from the palpitations. If you have them, see your GP.
Love your writing style!
I love this post Karen. Perimenopause, menopause and post menopause symptoms are not talked about enough especially when it comes to how it can affect work. At least when you’re running your own business you can reshape your business around you. For women in the workplace it can be a lot trickier. A recent study showed that many women are embarrassed to disclose their problems to managers particularly where the managers were younger or male and in some cases if time was taken off work for menopause related symptoms the real reason for absence isn’t disclosed.
Hi Karen, great article, clearly got many people’s attention judging by the comments. It really isn’t talked about enough, nor is it widely accepted as a natural life transition rather than medicalised as a ‘problem’ which needs solving with medication.
Your tips are fantastic and valuable to those in employment and running their own businesses. I fall in to the latter and yes, I’m peri-menopausal too.
The advantage I have (so far!) is that as a nutritionist I have eaten my way though the peri-menopause early years and intend to keep myself on a even keel as much as possible when the damn hormones are fluctuating wildly trying to knock me off course! I would advise any women to really consider dietary and lifestyle changes that affect hormones in their early 40s at the latest.
I see many women in my nutrition clinic who have their health issues (particularly digestive function) exacerbated by hormonal issues making managing their businesses even harder.
So number 8 on the list: eat for your hormones! I offer a 20 min free chat with anyone interested in seeing if nutritional therapy can help them become more effective in their businesses, just peek at http://www.nurturingnutrition.co.uk
Ha, you are SO talking to me Karen. I have the afternoon booked for a serious planning session. Thanks so much for your encouragement.
Kate
Brilliant article Karen – even though I’m a few years older than you, I’m one the lucky ones to have not yet hit peri-menopause (according to tests last year) … or perhaps my juicing is keeping things level … either way very glad I have no hormone swings – but I *have* noticed a change in my energy levels recently, which I hadn’t thought about being related to age – I am NOT middle-aged after all!! (ha ha, so I keep telling myself 😉 )
I think these rules are such good common sense for us business owners, no matter where we are age-wise or business-wise – delegation is one area I need to woman-up and face sometime in the next few months, for sure – and updating my business model… hah!
thank you, and for the humour!
lotsa love, Txx
Well you know you’re talking to the converted, and the post menopausal. The energy levels and the muffin top are the killers. They just make you feel so dispirited that you can no longer spin all the plates you once did. But perhaps what it does offer is the chance to do more quality work – as long as we are off the bottom rung of Maslow’s hierarchy. If you’re still having to generate a big income, then it is very hard indeed to be menopausal. Great article Karen.
Great article Karen, I feel I am still in the MANIC part of my life with 2 young children alongside a patient husband, 2 businesses and running the home. Thankfully I do take time out for Pilates and running however I need to stop working in the evening – I am just too tired by then.
Thought-provoking tips, Karen — and a brave discussion to open up! I have to say it makes life a bit more difficult to be starting a business during the challenging years, as opposed to keeping a successful business running (or looking at making changes to it). I think having maintained a regular exercise regimen for years (I loved it but also needed it to deal with my corporate stress), I’m ahead of the game. And now, having a dog, I walk everywhere. So for me, exercise, good nutrition and finding reliable people to delegate to as I build my business are key. Oh, and I’d be lying if I didn’t say that probably the most important aspect has been the natural remedies that have absolutely put me back in control over my body so that I don’t have to worry about being hit by a hormonal bus when I least expect it!
Thanks for writing about this so honestly. I am 49 and relate to much of what you say. I just can’t and don’t want to operate in the way I did in the past.
Thank you! This is really useful – I just realised the other day as a great wave och warmth suddenly overwhelmed me that, wow – I’m entering a new stage in life. This will be exciting and I sure can use your advice!
Thank you. You have totally described my life and now given permission to work smarter without thinking I’m a failure by not working all the hours I can. Permission to have ‘recovery’ time from heavy sessions without guilt. I have through necessity been applying some of your principles to my life and have equally noticed that I have increased earnings through less delivery, just smarter choices. I’m going to sit back now with a smile, knowing it’s not just me feeling this way. What a fabulous post.
Wow! Talk about right post, time! Thank you! Can’t tell you how much this resonated with me!
Hi Karen, love your honesty and courage to embrace a topic rarely spoken about at work. I relate to a lot of your post and I have had to let go of the pushing and forcing myself to work at the same pace I did when I was in my 30’s. Agree that you can create your business that fits in with who you are. Fidelma.
As a 45 year old woman with the added complications of suffering from Fibromyalgia and CFS, I started my online Tarot business because it would fit in with how I have to live now. Accepting that mornings are not my best time now, resting when I need to and coping with all the frustration of not being able to do as much as I want. I cannot imagine having teenagers to cope with too! (My stepkids are young adults now with babies of their own.) Great post, which has given me lots to think about (writing an idea in my journal, so I can forget about it for now ) and the comfort that I am not alone with needing to be home more now.
Thank you so much for your article. I was wondering if it was just me but I see it is quite normal. Last week I felt like superwoman – I had endless energy and positivity and this week I feel like a limp rag 🙁 It makes managing work very difficult. We definitely don’t talk about it enough!